Beyond the Solo Leader: Mastering the Art of Asking for Help

Vitamins on wooden spoon
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Unanswered emails piling up? Projects stalling out due to you? Staff giving you frustrated looks? Did a board member just ask you a question that you couldn’t answer? While a lot of leaders might hunt for a solution in some AI app or podcast, thoughtful leaders will try this innovative hack: they’ll ask for help.

Many people still think that good leaders are all-knowing Yodas, but in the real world, no one person has all the time and skill to do everything within an organization. True leaders know their limits and ask for help.

New leaders often have the most trouble with this. They’re freshly promoted from a position where they were much more hands-on and judged mainly by the quality of their own work. They feel pressure to get everything right. But the reality is that leaders aren’t hired to “do,” they’re hired to think strategically and manage. Sure, sometimes leaders get pulled into the weeds, but their biggest value is when they’re free to take a big picture view.

So when is the right time to ask for help? I gave a few examples in my opening, but in general your clues fall into two areas. The first indicator is when you have reached the limit of time optimization, prioritization and exceptional productivity. When there is simply not one more minute you can ring out of your work day. Another indicator can be from your team – are your direct reports nagging you about something you have not responded to or done. Is your team noticeably losing initiative, getting frustrated, or giving you direct feedback that you’re holding too tightly to the work.

I invite  leaders who aren’t used to asking for help to do small experiments to raise their comfort level. Ask a trusted colleague to do something small, then build on that. Ask for feedback on how you did with asking for help. Ask what you could have done differently.

In one of my first leadership roles, I was charged with with four important goals. Within months I had a handle on three of them, but had made no progress on the fourth. It languished because frankly, I didn’t know exactly how to approach it, let alone achieve this goal, and I couldn’t admit that to myself.

Finally, a mentor came to me and suggested that I pull together a small group of our trusted colleagues for a brainstorming session. And it worked. We quickly arrived at a strategy and were off to the races. Three lessons came out of that experience for me: Know when you’re stuck, find trusted colleagues with fresh ideas, and most important for me, understand that the outcome is usually WAY better with the help of others.

The thing about asking for help is that it’s not just a solution for you as a leader. It’s a vitamin that will spread empowerment, experience, and expertise throughout your organization. When you don’t ask for help, you limit your organization to the solutions in your own brain. And you will never discover the truly transcendent ideas hiding throughout your organization if you never ask for help.

#leadershipdevelopment #SmallLeadershipExeriments #LeadershipVitamins

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Brigid McCormack

Brigid McCormack is an evangelist for exceptional leadership. Brigid believes leadership is a skill that can be developed, cultivated, and honed over time. Brigid founded SpinDrift Advisors in 2022 to support and develop leaders seeking to transform their leadership, their careers and their lives. For the prior 24 years, Brigid worked inside mission driven organizations. As an executive and leader, her passion has been to identify and develop strong leaders, create inclusive cultures and enable employees to not just have meaningful careers but also to flourish.

Her journey began with a love of the natural world. At a young age, her father took her birding in California’s Sierra mountains, and Brigid quickly learned the names and sounds of all her favorites: the pileated woodpecker, the cedar waxwing, and the red-winged blackbird. Serving in the Peace Corps, she confronted the polluted legacy of a century of an extractive economy in Ukraine.

After eight years as a major gifts fundraiser—first at the Wharton School at the University of California and then at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business—her passion for protecting nature drew her to senior leadership roles at ClimateWorks and Audubon California. Then spent five years advising high net-worth clients entering the climate philanthropy space.

The drive for coaching

Herself the beneficiary of terrific mentors and executive coaches over the course of her career, Brigid always placed a premium on building the leadership skills of the team around her—from the early career managers to seasoned directors to C-suite. Among her proudest accomplishments is empowering some of California’s rising conservation leaders, working with leaders in the climate, conversation, philanthropic, tech, healthcare and many other fields.

Qualified and inspired

In addition to her own executive experience, Brigid is Hudson Institute trained executive coach, a Dare to Lead trained facilitator, and a Tara Mohr Playing Big Facilitator.  She is certified IEQ9 Enneagram Accredited Practitioner (level 1) and as an Advanced Enneagram and Team Dynamics Practitioner (level 2).  She hodls her ACC from the Internal Coaching Federation. She has a BA in History and BS in Biology from Santa Clara University and a MS in Environmental Management from University of San Francisco.

Brigid still takes time to get outside and listen to the birds of Northern California, while hiking, running, or backpacking with her family. The peaceful moments are important, fuel for her work with the people and organizations working hard to stop the climate crisis and conserve natural places.